Thursday, January 3, 2008:

Prayer before meals is a must. It's the only chance my family has to survive my cooking.

Friday, January 4, 2008:

When trouble comes your way, it can be viewed as either a problem or an opportunity. It depends on your point of view. It's your problem and your co-workers' opportunity.

Monday, January 14, 2008:

It's a good thing you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. After all, vinegar would ruin how they taste.

Thursday, January 17, 2008:

Even on slick roads it's considered poor taste to stop your vehicle by relying on the brakes of the car in front of you.

Thursday, January 24, 2008:

The last time I saw someone who lost their temper, it didn't look to me like it was missing.

Friday, January 25, 2008:

One who plays with fire may be forced to purchase an entire forest.

Monday, January 28, 2008:

An egg speaking about David Letterman: He cracks me up.

Thursday, January 31, 2008:

You know you've arrived when you're featured in a parade as Grand Marshall. You know you haven't arrived when you're featured in a parade as the street sweeper.

Friday, February 1, 2008:

If you're thinking "so far, so good," you obviously haven't been at it very long.

Monday, February 4, 2008:

A diet is a wonderful way to overcome your desire for good flavor.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008:

Modern dishwashers are so educational. Who would've thought there were so many kinds of "clean?"

Thursday, February 7, 2008:

I would never consider trading the wisdom of my years for the inexperience of my youth, unless I actually could.

Friday, February 8, 2008:

Never take your friends for granted. Be thankful they let you take advantage of them.

Monday, February 11, 2008:

Your absence, My Dear, makes my heart grow fonder. But I'm even more fond of your presents.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008:

The Humorous Thought Leadership Series -- MOTIVATION: That strong inner drive to push toward a reward that you've been fooled into believing exists.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008:

Those who weasel their way out of trouble are still weasels.

Thursday, February 14, 2008:

If you want to see a room full of people get up in arms, just offer to give a million dollars to the first person to raise their hand.

Friday, February 15, 2008:

My son recently told me that he has no sense of fairness. He added, "That's why I'm planning to become a lawyer."

Friday, February 22, 2008:

A compliment better left unsaid: You could be a real encouragement to my friend. He's had a number of failures, but they're small compared to what you've been through.

Monday, March 3, 2008:

In a household with kids, it's only quiet enough to hear a pin drop if there's enough trouble brewing to power a volcano.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008:

The Humorous Thought Leadership Series
 LEADERSHIP: That human passion to direct an organization in a direction it was already headed.

Thursday, March 6, 2008:

Aim for failure, because either way you'll succeed.

Friday, March 7, 2008:

When in doubt, go with your feelings ... I think.

Monday, March 10, 2008:

Those most willing to consider an offense "water under the bridge" are generally those most responsible.